I haven’t written about this yet and for me it is one of the most important things to put in place when you are faced with a challenging or difficult situation. The thing with IVF is that you don’t want everyone to know – or at least I didn’t. It’s not that I’m a secretive person but some things are just more personal. A support network is essential when you’re going through IVF. It’s not the kind of thing you can get through totally alone.
During the first cycle one or two people other than my husband knew. After it failed a couple more knew and then when I embarked on the second and subsequent failed cycle I told a few more. On the other hand a couple of people in my support network are actually members without even knowing it. They have no idea about my struggles yet they have helped in more ways than they will ever know.
The first people to know were my mum and sister. My mum has been a tower of strength throughout although as a mother of four, she always expects it to work out for me. She never had any issues getting pregnant – it was more a case of trying not to get pregnant for her. She had her difficulties along the way though and suffered several miscarriages and a still born baby shortly after she had me. While she hasn’t had the same challenges, she has had her fair share of upset and sadness. She gets the whole infertility thing and the feeling of hopelessness and desperation it brings.
My sister was great too and although we don’t chat much she is always there and never judges.
The rest of my support network are a bit of a mixture so I will list them below and fill you in on the part they have played over the next few weeks. If there is anyone in particular you would like to find out more about just pop me a comment below.
3 x long term friends who I have known for a very long time and who prop me up when I am losing the will with it all. These are friends from my pre-IVF life.
The friend who had two failed cycles and now has twins – I met her at yoga pre IVF just after she had her twins. She writes an amazing blog and has been an amazing support to me along the way.
The friend who is going through IVF at the moment – I met her on an IVF forum and we chat on a regular basis about monitoring cycles, blood tests, managing work commitments. All the stuff that people who don’t live in an IVF World just don’t get.
The social buddy – a lady who I have been following closely on Instagam who had multiple failed cycles, suffers with endometriosis but now has twins!!
My yoga teacher – an angel. That’s all I can say about her
My yoga teacher’s training partner – kind of a big deal in the yoga and fertility World who has been trying her best to help me relax and chill.
My acupuncturist – another angel in so many ways
My 97 year old Gran in Law – she suffered with the perils of infertility many years ago so naturally, she just gets it.
My work colleague – she makes me laugh all the time. The funniest, smartest free spirit you could meet. She knows nothing of my battle yet she has helped me in so many ways.
My personal trainer – no, I don’t have a bottomless money pit but after my last failed cycle decided it was either anti-depressants or a new fitness routine. The fitness part won and my personal trainer is great.
The writer – I have read more than my fair share of infertility based books along the way but Emma Cannon is my favourite. It also turns out she was taught yoga by my yoga teachers training partner and also provided the yoga chapters for her book. Small World we live in.
And that, I think, is it for now. I’m sure it will grow as we go along but I thought I’d share with you this evening. Like I mentioned at the start, I will write about the different gurus along the way so that you can find out a bit more about then and the part they have played in helping me.
Do you have a support network to help you along the way? Have you kept your journey private? Or maybe you just tell it like it is and everyone knows. It’s such a personal thing, I actually don’t think there is a right or wrong answer. As ever I’d love to hear your thoughts.
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